Longest. Night. Ever.

On July 4, one of my favorite days of the year, we attended a minor league baseball game in Ft. Worth. I mean, it's the fourth of July. What could be more Americana than baseball, artery-clogging junk food and fireworks?

As we settled into our seats behind home plate, we were joined by a male couple, one of whom was clearly already drunk. He proudly announced that he had already consumed a six pack and was just getting started. For the rest of the night......every inning...... he would head upstairs to empty his bladder, reload with another beer, smoke a cigarette and return. By the third inning, he had reached that special stage of drunkiness where he felt he was the funniest guy on the planet yet all those around him thought he was just obnoxious and loud.

The game went into extra innings -- a total of 13 innings to be exact -- and he was still drinking. His trips up the steps for his regular rounds were becoming more challenging and had reached the point where he had to face-grope everyone on the row to maintain his balance.

By the time the game ended (11 p.m.), a mere five hours after it started, he was beginning to nod off. So, as the rest of the crowd settled in for the fireworks show, the drunk and his partner made their way ever so slowly out to the parking lot and hopefully a safe trip home.

A smattering of applause arose as they climbed the steps for the final time. The fireworks then began and all was right on this July 4th night.